I am trained in a new and wonderful process called
Discernment Counseling.
This is for married couples (or ones in long term commitments) where one partner feels no hope or very little hope and is heading towards the path of separation, divorce, or break up and the other partner is not on board with this direction and would like to try to save the relationship. The goal is to provide greater clarity and confidence for the direction of the marriage or relationship, as well as, a better understanding of each person’s contribution to what brought you to this place so you can learn the most no matter what happens. This is a pre-couple therapy process for couples in this situation and helps to pick a clear direction. It’s a short term method, up to 5 meetings, and leads to one of three paths.
“Key Specialization of Discernment Counseling: For Couples Who Are Not Sure What They Want”
Path 1: Not make a change towards separation or couple therapy, leave things as they are, at least for now
Path 2: Head towards separation, but with a greater understanding of what got you here and each partner’s contribution
Path 3: Couple therapy for 6 months towards attempting reconciliation. This is set up with divorce off the table for this time period and other supports in place. A decision would be made at the end of the 6 month period.
If at the end of the sessions of discernment counseling, path 3 is chosen it gives the couple therapy a much greater chance to succeed if approached from a place of both being fully on board.
Structure of Sessions:
Session 1 : 2 hours, meeting together first as a couple to kick off the process and each person’s perspective on a few questions asked by a therapist and then individual meetings with a therapist to work towards gaining clarity towards a decision with summary shared with other partner and wrap up at the end.
Session 2-5 : 1.5 hours, mainly individual meetings with therapist building on what’s been discussed before towards making a decision on one of three paths with a summary of what has been learned so far and brief thoughts shared with other partner and wrap up at the end.
At the end of each session we decide to meet again for discernment counseling or move to one of three paths.
Click on the link below to hear more about Discernment Counseling from its founder Dr. Bill Doherty:
Here’s an article to review from the Huffington Post on Discernment Counseling.